coffinberry

I am making the Great Embarkment into the world of ... Windows 10. I know. I've been on Win7 for nearly 3,628 years. Well Win7 was having some bullshit conflict with my mouse and double-click and despite everything I could do, nothing worked? So I tried Win10 and so far so good. I am in the process of assembling most of the notes for Book 2 into a cohesive outline. It Is A Lot.

I am learning the benefits of Clip Studio Paint. I had to force myself to use the cloud service, so that I wouldn't lose much migrating over to the new SSD with Win10 on it. I am learning how to make my own brushes, which is very beneficial for me when it comes to having to do repetitive detail.

I have a terrible time with mis-managing my time. I've also started taking two online courses. Because, why not add more to the sinking ship which is my already over-loaded day?

I have a character sheet to post here that I was commissioned to do, but that sheet along with my art is currently on my old hard drive, waiting to be transferred over. It turned out well, the customer was happy. It's the first big commission I've taken (outside of non-furry work) since I came back. So that was encouraging for me.

Winter is coming, I am pleased, it gives me a better excuse for my hermit-mode.

Still working on art! Got a lot in progress - trying different coloring styles and background styles, because what I was doing for comic pages wasn't working.
Also got a new CPU fan because my PC kept shutting off from overheating, and it sounded like an airplane. And kitchen renovations - goodbye 1980's.
Mostly, I've been writing, for all 3 books. Not an easy task.
Should be posting some stuff this week. I do shorter updates and WIPS on my twitter - it's public.

Mmm, so what have I been up to besides the humdrum of daily home life?

Logos, a lot of logos. They're not 100% my cup of tea but they'll do as a breakaway from my usual work. To see them being used in places I've never been is a treat.

Mostly I've been reading, and studying writing. Reworking the script for SOU as I go along - it's a test anyways, a lot of things being tested with it. As of today, roughly 8 months since I sat myself down to finally pound out something more substantial to the stories I've had in my head since 1995, I have over 2gigs of notes for all three of my books gathered up, and that's notes, unfinished. I have to wrap up book two in order to finish book three, although book three gets put out first. Does that make it book one? No.

The running titles for the three books are:

Unknown Book I
Unknown Book II
Unknown Book III

as part of the trilogy that I so 'ingeniously' refer to as Aions. (guess what, the three books don't have titles)

I despise writing in third person but its a necessity for them to work out.

Thanks for the DD! Nice birthday surprise

There's this really weird thing that happens when you've got your own mortality staring you in the face.

I didn't write of this much, publicly, but in October I was put in the hospital for a week while we're still determining what exactly is going on in my body. Yes, it's true, I've never been much of a sober person. I smoke like the devil's asshole over a roaring bonfire, and I've a weakness for the gifts of Bacchus. I trashed my body over the past decade and now I pay for it. We'll figure it out. Anyways. While laying there hopped up on lord knows what, I had a lot of thoughts. I'm fairly young. I've grown a lot as a person. We all do, yeah. But the past ten years have done a lot to me, growth wise. Socially, mentally, etc. And that made me think to the one thing I hadn't done, which was unleash the disaster of a story I've been holding within for nearly 20 years. That's two decades of life.

If, I had released what I wanted to, ten years ago, it would have been stunted. A very undeveloped story, with very flat lines. I do take my own personal experiences and write them into everything. Every character I have has been influenced by someone I knew, or know, at one point in my life. And how they've touched me. Every situation that I illustrate has a root. And gods, back then, at 25, I really didn't know much. I've had a tumultuous life, that's not a lie. Writing it, and drawing it into my own weird little world has helped me cope. And it's frustrating that I couldn't properly express it like I wanted to. I had hurdles to leap over - artistically, writing-wise, etc. 25 years old! And I was a stubborn ass who didn't want to move forward much. I tried, I did. But I held myself back. 

All my life I've had awards dumped on me as an artist. I'm not going try to sound like a bloated old cunt of a person here, but since the age of 3 I've had artistic awards thrown at me. Best in this, best in that. School, shows, the family, the classmates who loved what I did. Then came the digital age. Elfwood, the first site I ever used to upload my old work, gave me recognition. Then came deviantart where I sit on four? Five? Daily deviations. So what, it's DA. But then I saw encouragement from people and I thought maybe I wasn't so horrible at what I did. Maybe what I did was alright. So began the state of stagnation. I ignored all of the shit holding me back. I felt like I could coast on the bullshit I was putting out. But with that bar set, expectations grew. I ignored those, as well. 

ANYHOO. So that time in the hospital made me think about how I didn't get to do what I wanted, and who the fuck knows what this is I have? Mortality became a catalyst. 

What was it that was holding me back from releasing what was basically a story of my own views? For one, my own limited artistic ability. No proper formal schooling. So I addressed that this week. What else? Well back a decade ago I held different views, which honestly did no favors in any sort of writing ability. The past two years I experienced a relationship with a former friend that really throttled it all and added to the spice of Mishenka and his best friend Zoe. Absolutely that is written into the story. And it is healing for me, and it gives them more realism. So I was happy about that. I've got this weird duality to me where I feel this uncontrollable urge to create but then this stupid side that is screaming at me to quit it because it's not what's expected.

I guess I don't know the entire point of this other than to say that I believe that I am at a point where I am comfortable with what I know, and what I am learning rapidly as far as writing and art goes. I have finished my first page of the test phase of a comic. I didn't think I would, or could. But I did. And tomorrow I'll post it. And I hope you like it. Because it's like I'm going to bare my soul and no one wants to have that stabbed, until it's time, and it's not my time yet. I have a lot to say, even if I am verbally stunted, I can express myself with color and line. 

420 blaze it dudes